Wednesday, December 29, 2010

No News is Good News?

Not always.

I've been in a major funk.


A funk that is hard to explain and overwhelming at best, both mentally and physically. I just want to crawl into a hole and hibernate until the storm passes. I've been in this state a few times before in my life. One in which I isolate myself from friends and family, not wanting to spread my gloom or let people see me like this.

Writing becomes difficult as well, my mind unable to concentrate on the smallest of details let alone forming coherent sentences and thoughts. So there you go, the reason I haven't posted in a while. I'm gradually coming out of the hole, the holidays helping somewhat.

I've dodged the hospital since August, but my disease is changing. My left lung fills up with gunk that just won't come out. I feel like my body is trying to physically cough up my water balloon filled left lung. It's exhausting, frustrating and at times I feel like I'm drowning. No amount of IV antibiotics will stop the gunk production in a non functioning, sorry lung. Dr. R has had me on 3 weeks of oral Zyvox to keep the bacteria at bay, hoping to get me through the holidays without seeing the inside of Casa USC. The Zyvox itself makes me feel like crap too with several unpleasant side effects, adding to my misery.

Thank you to everyone who has inquired about me.
I know when I don't update the blog, people wonder and worry.

I'm hoping the New Year will yield better days ahead and more bloggety-blogging.

Happy 'Funk Free' New Year!!  :)