Piggy hysteria

*cough, cough* again *cough, cough*

This is my life, a chronic cougher. Most times I don't even notice my random coughs unless they become full on heaving attacks. Coughing in public, has always been a sticky wicket for me. I try very hard to discreetly cough into my elbow or both hands, to not only muffle the sound but to catch my contagious germies that everyone assumes I'm so generously sharing with them.

It never ceases to amaze me the comments people so freely let fly. Comments like, "I had that last week" (don't think so) or "That doesn't sound too good" (really?) or "Maybe you should see a Dr." Um, yeah, if you only knew how often I DO see the Dr. and still, the cough never goes away. I have my canned answer to all the remarks, "I'm not contagious, it's my allergies" That usually shuts them up and puts them at ease.

So today in the grocery store line. . .

*cough, cough* again *cough, cough*

turns into another
*cough, cough* again *cough, cough*

back away from the line, turn my head and
*cough, cough* again *cough, cough*

All the while coughing, I was trying very hard to discreetly mask my cough as I always do. I'm very aware of the stares of horror my sudden outburst of coughs create. I finally feel like I'm composed and proceed to the end of the line again. The woman in front of me turns and says, "Have you heard about the swine flu? Maybe you should stay home, just in case."

Me, in disbelief, ditched my canned response and abruptly said, "No swine flu here, just a little terminal lung disease." She quickly turned around forward and I switched lines. I felt my blood boil and knew I had to leave the area before explosion. Ugh, I so felt like a labeled pariah. Maybe I should just stamp my forehead with "no I'm not contagious."

The media is frenzied over the swine flu. True, it could become a reality, rendering a multitude of people sick. Granted a flu that will make them sick and have to stay home from work or school. For the most part, normal people who catch it will not die. Only those with chronic health problems will be at risk for death, like me.

Welcome to my world. I take precautions every single day of my life to keep from getting sick. My trusty bottles of Purell follow me everywhere, ready at a moments notice to wash my hands. I worry every day about catching a cold from grocery shopping, a worse scenario for me that the flu for you. When in public, I meticulously pay attention to everyone around me, scoping out potential sick people. The slightest sniffle or cough detours my path to go out of my way to avoid them, but in a discreet way. I would never think to make a rude comment about the state of their health.

You can bet if the swine flu invades OC, I won't go anywhere or have very little contact with anyone. I won't think twice about going in public with mask and gloves. Stare at me all you want, won't bother me.

*Snort snort* Now that I think about it, maybe the sight of me decked out in my protective garb will keep everyone away from me. 

It would sure make my life a whole lot easier.