The Whirlybird Epiphany

One week of IVs under my belt and I'm feeling much better. Both my lungs and sinuses have cleared of most of the infection. Although, the CT scan revealed that my sinuses are still a mess. Tomorrow I'm having sinus surgery to clean out all the infected gunk that clogs my breathing. The Transplant team wants it done now, so I'm good to go if the call comes. I'll be starting September with a clean slate. :)

And then . . .

It came out of nowhere. 

The chop, chop, chop sounds grew closer and louder. 

As I sat in my 6th floor hospital room, the sound is deafening as the helicopter lands just 2 floors above me. There is only one reason a chopper lands on the USCUH roof . . . transplant. Weather it be kidney, liver, heart, lungs, whatever organ needs to be transplanted, the precious cargo is often helicoptered to the hospital. 

And again, it came out of nowhere, the flood of emotions I felt as I heard that chopper land. I sat upright . . . listening, tears welling up in my eyes. A weird, surreal feeling of terrifying urgency, nervous excitement and sadness overcame me. Someone had just lost their life, yet someone else is getting a second chance at life. All because of the most awesome, priceless gift of organ donation. 

Little did I know, the mere sound of that helicopter could open up all those barebone raw, insecure thoughts and feelings of being listed. Scared, unknown, no it's not time yet, what if, and on and on. I thought I had completely worked through every thought in my head. Clearly, I have more work to do. Then I think, do I ever come to the absolute place of acceptance, that this is how it is?? I don't know. 

I do know this . . . someone in this hospital got 'THE' call of life. 

Someday, that someone, will be me.