Old Fart

Old Fart is the name I teasingly and affectionately call my 83 yo Dad, since he turned 70. He's in amazingly good health, completely self sufficient, living independently and kickin' strong. I believe I have some of his good, strong, longevity genes lurking in me that work in my favor along side my not so good CF genes. All my Grandparents lived well into their late 80s and early 90s and my great Aunt lived to be 102!

I've always regarded the term 'Old Fart' to describe old men only.
But lately, I just may have to redefine my thinking.

I don't know when it started . . .
I don't know when it happened . . .
But I feel I've definitely turned that imaginary corner and officially feel I'm a member of the Old Fart Club!



Besides living all the Maxine-isms, here's a list that leads me to believe I've been initiated:

1. I rarely go out at night anymore and I hate to drive in the dark. Something about the headlights in my eyes just doesn't set well with me anymore.

2. Speaking of eyes, I can't see without my glasses. At all. I don't even try. I don't enjoy seeing the world through a blurry mess of color.

3. I belong to AARP and love the discounts they give me on everyday stuff. I read their magazines and web site, scanning for 'exciting' offers. And the other day while shopping in Kohls, the 20 something cashier automatically gave me a senior citizen discount. Do I really look THAT old?

4. I use coupons at the grocery store and use reusable, cloth grocery bags.

5. I recycle, but yet I've always done that. I firmly believe in preserving and restoring Mother Earth.

6. I look forward to the mailman coming everyday. Maybe he'll bring me something good besides bills. Or maybe not. I still look forward to chatting with him.

7. I no longer want a household filled with 'things' I've made a concious effort to clear out every drawer, closet, and cranny of anything I haven't used in the last year. A side benefit I hadn't counted on, it helped clear me mentally as well, knowing I rid my life of crap I don't need or want.

8. I don't care that my gravestone won't read, "Jodi, may she RIP. She had the cleanest house on the block" Pleeease, the dust bunnies will be there tomorrow waiting for me. This wasn't always the case, I'm so much more lax about cleaning now.

9. I don't want gifts, I'd rather make memories.

10. I'm pretty sure I suffer from A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder - I can't seem to stay focused on any one task before i switch gears and start another. Pretty soon I have 20 things going at once, get overwhelmed and ditch them all.

11. My mind has selectively eliminated facts that used to float around my head that I no longer need. See #7 - this applies to my brain too.

12. My one gray eyebrow hair has turned into about 6 in just a couple months. They're breeding.

13. My face is becoming my Mothers, wrinkles, turkey neck and all. And I am so cool with that! (I so terribly miss my MOM )

14. I've s-l-o-w-e-d way down. I know some is CF related, BUT I can gauge by what is happening to Terry too, he's also an Old Fart one year older than me. My mind still thinks I'm 18, but my body knows better.

15. I've got kids pushing 30! Where does the time go!?!

16. Medically, I don't bounce any more. This last year has been a glaring and painful reminder of that fact.

And lastly, these 2 may be a little TMI, but oh well, it's all part of it.

17. Gravity is not kind. My (_!_) has a whole new relationship with the back of my knees. My (.) (.) stare at my belly button all day long now.

18. And lastly, my monthly friend since I was 10 finally said sayanara 2 years ago. See ya, I won't miss you! YEAH!

So there you go!
I'm sure there are many more, my mind just can't think of them right now! I'm done dripping sarcasm.
Anyone else wanna join my Old Fart Club?