Jodis journey: i am a misfit

Monday, January 5, 2009

i am a misfit

i am a misfit
living on an island,
where not many my age
dare inhabit.

i am a misfit
trying to survive,
amongst a world of
20 somethings.

i am a misfit
pondering every physical problem,
as a result of age
or of progression.

i am a misfit
spending hours on end,
doing the unimaginable
just to keep breathing.

i am a misfit
who outwardly doesn't look sick,
the exterior is deceiving
I'm drowning, I'm dying inside.

i am a misfit
a genetic mess, mutant
trying to find peace,
knowing I'm not supposed to be alive.

i am a misfit
trying my best,
to just live, laugh and love
as an unattainable normal person.

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Welcome to my blog!

My name is Jodi, I'm 55, and married to Terry.
I've decided to start this blog to journal my life as a Wife, Mom, Grandma and CF survivor. I consider my life a journey, not knowing when or where it will take me. I'll enjoy what I can along the way, savouring the good and dealing with the ever challenging CF parts to the best of my ability through hope, prayer and diligency. I take a day at a time but always plan for the future with set goals in mind. I'm not done living yet, and have oodles left to do on my "bucket list." I now have my 50s to look forward to and enjoy - so keep 'um comin'! Life is great!

I know that the Lord has kept me here so long for a reason. It is in his hands and his time frame as to my longevity. I accept that and try to make the most of the precious time I have been so graciously given.

My interests include walks, reading, computer graphics, home improvement projects. Give me a paint brush, some tile & grout, moulding & power tools, you name it and I'm a happy camper. I LOVE art, history, travel – combining the 3 makes it all the better. And if I'm in the mood, I like cooking and trying new recipes.

I'm an admitted life long Disney geek, always-have-a-cat-in-my-life, and like to stay busy & productive with 'ten fingers in the fire' obsessed. I've learned to reign in that independent, stubborness side of me, (in a good way of course) and ask for help when I need it most.

Besides Terry, my family include my wonderful grown children Jen 31, Josh 30, and stepson Shaun 30. The littlest loves of my life, thanks to Jen, are my Grandkiddos, cutey Aaron 6 and gorgeous Audrey almost 3. And, I must not forget our cat fur baby Bucky, who is 10 and diabetic.

the C word & the F word part of my life

I was born with Cystic Fibrosis.
Even though I struggled with a lot of symptoms as a child, I was not diagnosed until I was 25 after the birth of my children. I was very fortunate to have very good health until my 40s, when CF arrived with a vengence.

In 1999, I was diagnosed with Mycobacterium avium complex (MAC) - a deadly bacterial lung infection that was hell bent on destroying my lungs. It caused so much damage in my left lung that in March 2000, I had to have a wedge resection, meaning, I had most of my left lung carved up and removed. Two years of intense antibiotics followed to fight off the MAC. I now test negative (knock on wood) but I know not to get too comfortable because it could return at anytime.

Since 2000, I’ve had some good years and some not. I’ve been hospitalized about 20 times for CF exacerbations requiring intense IV antibiotics along with home IVs. I have a daily routine of several hours of breathing treatments accompanied by my vibrating vest to break up the mucous pooling in my lungs. My CF has also affected my pancreas rendering it useless. I’m an insulin dependent diabetic and unable to fully digest food without taking enzymes before everything I eat.
CF IS my full time job.

Even though my CF is a daily up hill struggle to stay healthy, I try to take it all in stride. I've incorporated all the necessary meds and physical therapy into my life as routine like brushing my teeth.